


Cause I’ll Go

by letsforgetaboutheather



Category: Outer Banks (TV)
Genre: A little bit of angst, Admitted Feelings, First Kiss, M/M, Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:06:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25515478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letsforgetaboutheather/pseuds/letsforgetaboutheather
Summary: Rewrite of the scene where Kiara offers to go with JJ but with JJPope
Relationships: JJ/Pope (Outer Banks)
Kudos: 35





	Cause I’ll Go

“Home sweet home,” JJ said sarcastically. He exited the car, Pope doing the same. “I can do this, it’ll only take a sec,” he objected, but Pope only kept walking. “I’m not risking you getting hurt and me not being there.” JJ sighed, knowing he wasn’t going to win. “Okay.” 

JJ slowly and quietly opened the door. Pope following him. He looked around at the messy house JJ had called home. Empty beer cans and bottles covered the living room table. He saw the blond trying to get the keys off from a necklace that hung around Luke’s neck. He was fast asleep, half full beer bottle in his hand. “You okay?” Pope asked quietly. JJ nodded. 

Pope wondered around his house, not in a stalker way but curious as to what JJ had to come home to everyday, or when he wasn’t at the Château. It was somewhat cleaner than the living room, but when he reached what he assumed to be JJ’s room, the first thing he noticed was a stack of papers on his messy dresser. 

He knew he shouldn’t have been nosy, but on the top paper was a bunch of doodles, messy handwriting, and when he looked at it closer, Pope saw a sloppy heart with JJ + PH written inside of it. Butterflies erupted in Pope’s stomach. “I got it!” JJ said from the hall. Pope panicked and took the paper, shoving it into his pocket. 

“Stalking my room?” JJ asked with a playful smile. Pope looked down, “No, I, uh, just was, um, looking around.” He stumbled over his words, mind scrambled from what he saw on the paper. “Ah, okay, Dr. Spock.” Pope smiled at the nickname. He didn’t know why JJ called him that. Maybe it was because he was smart. Who knows? 

Pope thought about all the times JJ had play flirted with him and called him pet names like “baby” and how sometimes, he would say “my Pope,” like they were together. Pope thought about the feeling where his stomach did flips and his cheeks got warm. Maybe it was the alcohol or the weed talking, but JJ mostly did it when he was sober. 

So many thoughts ran through Pope’s brain that his eyebrows knitted together, which JJ took notice to. “Whatcha thinking ‘bout, babe?” Another nickname. He probably only meant it in good fun, but it still meant a lot to Pope. “Stuff and things.” “Ooooh, did you meet a girl?” Pope’s heart sank. “Um, no, I mean, I met someone, like, a long time ago, but feelings, and uh, you know.” JJ cocked his head to the side, confusion washing over his face. “No, I don’t know. What do you mean you met someone a long time ago?” Pope sighed, “Basically, uh, like, this person I’ve known for a while, my whole life, almost, and they make me feel, um, weird. Like, my stomach becomes a gymnast and it just feels like it’s getting shaken around. 

And, uh, like, their smile just makes me feel good, like it just lights up everything and everybody. I mean, they’re super close to me and I don’t know how to tell you,” Pope stopped. JJ stopped. Everything stopped. “Tell me?,” JJ asked while Pope’s head is still hung down in self shame. Tears are burned in his eyes and he’s ignoring everything except the heart that’s pounding in his throat. He tried to blink back the tears, but instead, they fell out, two small spots left on the hem of his shirt. “Shit, uh, Pope, I-I’m sorry,” JJ reached out to comfort him, but Pope just reaches into his pocket for the crumpled up piece of paper, placing it onto the dashboard between them. “I found this and when you called me,” he choked out a sob, “I, uh, panicked and just grabbed it.” 

JJ took a look at the paper and stepped out of the car. Pope was confused. JJ opened the car door and revealed Pope. “Come on, I wanna show you something.” Pope hiccuped and hesitantly got out. They walked into the woods that surrounded JJ’s house, leaves crunching under their feet. JJ walked silently, eyes kept in front of him. They approached a tree much bigger than the rest and Pope could see a treehouse not too high up from the ground. JJ was still silent as they both climbed the rickety ladder up to the treehouse. Pope looked around inside. It was cozy, but not small, and a few posters of sports teams that JJ liked were put up on the walls. There was also a small couch in the corner. 

JJ sat down on the dusty couch, and Pope did the same, sitting next to him. “Before my mom left and my dad started drinking, we all built this thing when I was like, I don’t know, nine maybe?” he said. Pope nodded. “Anyway, uh, I just wanted to tell you about those papers.” Pope sighed, “You don’t have to.” JJ shook his head. “I need to,” he began, “I can’t just leave you wondering.” Pope blinked. “Um, so, there really isn’t a specific day that I figured it out but, like, my stomach always does like flips? I don’t know the word, but you get it. Basically, I got all flustered and tongue tied around you. It was really hard to control but I eventually got the hang of it. It still happened sometimes, though. Like when you smiled, I just couldn’t help myself from feeling all warm. It sounds so cheesy saying it out loud but at the time it felt so foreign.”

Pope laid his head on JJ’s shoulder and placed his hand on top of his, “Remember when I, uh, saw you making out with that random girl at one of our hangouts down by the beach?” JJ’s eyebrows knitted together, but nodded nonetheless. “Well, I got mad, not at you, but myself. I don’t know why, like, I didn’t do anything, but I just felt rage. Maybe because I felt like I had lost you even though a random hookup with a touron meant nothing to you-“ “I’ve never hooked up with anyone. I always feel so wrong doing it when it’s not with someone I know or love. You know?” Pope nodded even though he’d never even kissed someone before. “I’m labelled as some fuck boy and player when really, I just have these feelings that I didn’t want want to have cause I was scared I wasn’t going to get accepted. You’re always taught that boys and girls but never boys and boys or girls and girls. It’s just weird but also comforting that you feel the same way cause like, I don’t know what I would do if you didn’t. Nobody we knew never talked about being gay or the topic or anything. 

I just kissed girls to maybe convince myself that the feelings weren’t real or that maybe it was just a phase, but every time I did it just made them stronger. I always tried imagined it was you but it never sat right with me. And like, I kinda tried to feed those feelings by calling you nicknames and being really affectionate,” he stopped and Pope lifted his head, “and every time you catch me staring at you I always get really anxious and, uh, like scared you know? But also like, really excited, not excited, just like, that weird feeling you get in your stomach when the person you like acknowledges you. I mean, you acknowledge me all the time since we’re best friends or whatever, but, it just feels different than with Kie or Sarah. Like when I wrap my arms around your shoulders and lay on you, or, um, kiss you on the cheek. I just don’t really a care in the world who sees, I just wanna show you I care about you. 

You never said anything or returned it, so I just kept going, because I was doing it for you, but also for me. Not in a narcissistic way, just to like, tell my conscience and the tiny voice inside of me telling me that it’s weird and that, uh, I’m a, you know, the F slur. I can’t bring myself to say it out loud, but you get what I’m saying. Like, it tries to tear me down, and sometimes it does. On days it does, I’m more lovey-dovey. So, um, thank you for, you know, dealing with my bullshit. You never really seem uncomfortable and you just take it, and, like, you’ve never been a affectionate person, but you always stand up for yourself, so I think I would know if you didn’t like it. I’m just talking out of my ass now, I’m sorry,” he sighed softly before adjusting himself and laying his head down in Pope’s lap as the other boy automatically started playing with the messy blond locks, feeling how soft they felt. 

“JJ, I always thought you loved on me as a joke, like friends, since we’ve known each other since middle school.” Pope leaned down and pressed his lips against JJ’s forehead. He lingered there, feeling how his skin felt against his lips, the smell of floral shampoo, not questioning it but only taking it in. When he released and sat back up, JJ whimpered, not meaning to, but Pope found it to be the cutest thing he had ever heard. Like a small puppy. “You know, one day, my mama asked if we were together or something like that, and it was one of your worst days, I think. You wouldn’t leave my side, and like, you had to be carried by piggyback rides everywhere. That’s when I really started to notice the affection. But I liked it, knowing that someone didn’t care about what the others thought, that they just wanted to show that they care.” JJ had fallen asleep in his lap, eyes fluttering lightly as small snores cane from his slightly agape mouth. Pope smiled and pecked his nose. He leaned back against the couch and closed his eyes, a smile creeping onto his face as he ran his fingers through the sleeping boy’s hair and sleep entered his own body slowly. 

Pope awoke to the sound of Pope’s phone ringing. It was now around dusk, the sun setting. He glanced down to see JJ still fast asleep in his lap. The caller ID on the phone read Kiara. Pope picked up, “Hello?” His voice was still groggy from just waking up. “Pope? Where are you?” He took a deep breath in and stretched, careful not to wake JJ. “Um, with JJ.” “Can I speak to him?” she asked impatiently. “Uh, no? He’s asleep.” Kie sighed, “Are y’all at the Château?” “No.” Pope could already see the confusion on her face. 

“Um, JJ can call you back later, I gotta go.” He hung up, setting the phone down, and slowly shaking JJ. “Baby, wake up.” His eyes fluttered open, a smile forming on his face as he recognised Pope. “Mornin’, sweet cheeks,” his voice was scratchy. He sat up and kissed Pope lightly on the tip of his nose. Pope had a dopey smile as JJ stood and stretched, his shirt lifted to reveal yellowing bruises on his torso. Neither of them said anything, until Pope remember Kiara, who had hung up by now. “Kie called.” JJ looked at Pope, “What did she want?” Pope shook his head, “Just asking where we were and shit.” JJ picked up his phone, glanced at the screen, and put it back into his pocket. Pope, meanwhile, stood up, cracking his knuckles and tilting his head to crack his neck. “You know what we never did?” JJ asked as he approached Pope. “What?” Pope asked, confusion in his voice. “This.” 

He kissed Pope, leaning up since he was an inch shorter. Pope immediately kissed back, his hand travelling to the back of JJ’s head, fingers running through his messy, blond hair. JJ has kissed many girls, but kissing Pope was a completely different feeling. It’s like those kisses Sarah reads in her romance novels or Kiara watched in her romance movies. They pulled away for air, eyes fixated on each other. Pope could see every speck of each shade of blue in his eyes. “Wow,” JJ whispered, a smile creeping wide across his face. Pope nodded and JJ attacked him with a hug. Pope melted into the hug, planting a kiss to the top of his head.

They drove back, hand in hand in the car and singing along to whatever was on the radio. They first went to the Château. “Hello?” JJ called out as he grabbed a beer from the fridge. “JJ, Pope!” Sarah yelled as she attacked JJ with a hug. “I- okay, then. Hello, sis.” JJ’s mom had fraternal twins, Sarah and JJ, but unfortunately died due to birth complications. But, the father—Luke, didn’t want a daughter and put her up for adoption where Ward Cameron and his then wife at the time adopted a bouncing blonde baby girl. Ward was the one to break the news to Sarah when she was 13, who then told JJ. He honestly was glad to have a sibling. They continued to get close until they were basically attached at the hip. The only Pogue who knew was Pope, even though he didn’t really trust her, but JJ had a hard time making friends, so he was happy that he had someone in his life that understood him. 

“Where did y’all go?” she asked. “This old spot I used to go to, we ended up taking a nap and losing track of time.” She nodded. She never questioned JJ, especially with Pope since she was the only one who knew that he liked him. “Hey, can I talk to JJ? Alone,” Sarah said. His eyebrows knitted together but Pope shrugged and walked outside. “Y’all seem closer than normal, what happened at the treehouse?” JJ’s cheeks erupted with warmth, “I don’t know what we are but he likes me back.” Sarah squealed, “I told you!” JJ rolled his eyes but smiled. “And we may have kissed.” She hugged him, “Just don’t let him hurt you because he’ll have a second Cameron hitting him in the back with a golf club.” JJ shook his head, “Lemme go get him.” 

“Hi, dummy,” JJ said playfully while his arms wrapped around the other’s waist. “You and Sarah done gossiping?” “Oh, shut up.” Pope looked backwards and kissed JJ on the forehead. “Do you want to tell the others?” The question caught JJ off guard. “Sarah knows.” “What’d she say?” “She was excited and happy for me.” Pope sighed in relief. “Let’s just enjoy it now before we tell anybody else.” They kissed and JJ laid his head in the crook of Pope’s neck.


End file.
